Textling #5

If I had more courage I’d exclaim on Facebook ‘Had a bath today, heyho’, ‘Spoke on the phone’, or ‘Walked up and down my garden path’ (it’s been a while) – great achievements in my book, and more than a multitude of M.E. sufferers (in silence) can manage. Such banalities, such profane deeds, fluff pinched off the fabric of life… But these lives are shrunk; each activity fragmented, a labor of finely calibrated movements and gestures. Contingency mostly, completion elusive.

This text too is piecemeal work, stitched together from words and notions, slivers of time, and the lightest of keyboard touches. It is intimate, bare bone stuff, and I question my motives. Writing here seems almost extravagant, my own (tired) kind of me me me. And a reality check: This is not how I see myself. A sort of patchwork selfie, if you will, snatched from the here and now, not the there and then (where I’d much rather be).

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2 thoughts on “Textling #5

  1. dearest Marjojo, reality check or not, i think it’s good that you don’t see yourself like that. There are many kinds of truth, aren’t there? Your words, your mind and spirit come off so strongly to us. It’s amazing to me that you have such clarity of vision and words, despite what you say of your physical condition. I am amazed how it is even possible. I have a little bad cold and all i can do is watch tv and sleep.

    I think those fb posts would make us realized what most of us take for granted. Maybe they would remind us to cherish the everyday a little more? You inspire me on so many levels…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much, dear red! I guess it’s different when one is chronically ill, you don’t give in as you might to a short-term flu, (have to) learn to seize your moments or else you sink sink sink. And re: reality check – there’s a fine balance to strive for between acknowledging one’s condition, not letting it define one’s whole being and wishing too much that things were different.

    Like

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